Hello everyone, it's been such a loong time since I last updated on my life! I'm currently in the middle of exam week, and I have two more to go until the semester is over!!!
I have amazing news, and that is that I received an early acceptance to the nursing program at my first choice university! I'll be attending Ryerson this fall, and I'm crazy excited because I've been anxiously awaiting a response this past month. I'm feel such a huge sense of peace now ever since I made a decision to pursue nursing despite that it WILL be challenging. It felt like I was walking around in a fog, looking for a destination. When I finally set my mind to it though, the fog still hasn't cleared, but many things in my life seemed to be falling in place for my good and I praise God! It's not easy making a decision and this goes for anyone, especially seniors in high school like me right now, and I can't count how many times I've stressed and been scared but everything works out in the end, no matter what.
If it doesn't work out, it's not the end, and I truly believe this.
This semester was super hectic and I had a heavy, science-based courseload. When I first got my timetable I was overwhelmed, but these 5 months I willed myself to work the hardest I've ever done in my life and it paid off, literally, in my scholarship. I wasn't able to draw much at all because of this but I am so glad that I will be able to soon. The next few days I'll surely do my best and finish off with a bang! On another note, I'm stoked to start painting some sketches I've been collecting the past few months, and I can't wait to finally start posting things again! I'm super rusty after so long not even touching my tablet.... I MISS YOU BBY ;-;
Finally, I haven't made this totally public before, but now I'll say it: my current boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. Until this point I've never been in a relationship with anyone before, I am totally inexperienced and really awkward at times because I'm not sure how to show affection.. (Then I worry, am I showing too much, is it weird, am I doing this right..?? blah blah) but he's been super sweet and gentle to me when I asked to take it really slow.
I don't have a problem with socializing but I get extremely shy around crushes. When he confessed to me, despite being happy, I was extremely shocked and unsure... like, how could you like a starchy potato LOL? It took me some time to be able to really warm up to him despite that, but as I got off the phone with him after hours of laughing and crying about university yesterday, I realized that I will finally let myself love him.
Falling in love is so romanticized in movies. You fall in love with the love at first glance, the hero, or the childhood friend. It's followed by some kissing and dramatic, passionate sex. But it's not always like this, and it shouldn't all be. In reality, falling in love can be a mysterious thing. It creeps up on you when you least expect it, then shakes your soul upside down.
Love is different for everyone, and I'm still in the process of figuring things out while thinking in the back of my mind of the expectations I should follow when in love. Especially since I have yet to return a kiss. I am aware of my youth and the fragility of childhood romance, but I am hopeful about us. It is better to go through life unafraid to love, saying I have loved and hurt, rather than having not loved at all in the fear of hurting. Each moment is tremendously precious. I will treasure the innocent, young love that we have with no regrets.